ASK ME ANYTHING
by YourVampireLestat
Summary: Have you ever wanted to ask Jackson a question? Send him some fan mail? Well now is your chance!
1. Intro

**ASK ME ANYTHING

* * *

**

Summery: Have you ever wanted to ask Jackson a question? Send him some fan mail? Well now is your chance!

* * *

"Hello and welcome! So I've heard that you want to ask me questions. Hmm…sounds like fun. So here's the deal. You send me reviews with your question in them and I'll answer them as best as I can. The update time all depends on you, the reviewers. So…knowing BregoBeauty, cause BayBreeze thinks you'll be the first reviewer, ask me a question and tell your friends. Spread the word! Ask me as many questions as you can!"

* * *

A/N: Yup...so...gimmie some questions so that they may be answered...maybe then you can have a cookie... 


	2. The Asking begins

"Hi! Jackson here. I loved reading all of your questions.

* * *

Okay, the first letter was from Anon. She asked…

"Dear Jackson…

What's your idea of a perfect woman?"

"Hmm… well I guess she'd have to be smart, able to think fast on her feet, she'd have to be beautiful, have a well paying job, and she would never be the creepy blonde "thing" on the plane that couldn't get her own bag."

* * *

Moogle form Cyrodiil asked,

"How'd you get your job as an assassin?

Or

Do you assassins do Secret Santa at Christmas, oh wait, holiday season?

Or

Which do you prefer, Superman or Spiderman?"

"Well…what an interesting jumble of questions we have here. Well, I was asked if I wanted it and…being me and having nothing better to do, I gladly accepted.

Yes…we do Secret Santa at Christmas. I got Lulu's stuffed monkey and she got my shiny pocket knife…

And I think I like Spiderman more then Superman. Spiderman doesn't wear his underwear over his tights."

* * *

BregoBeauty asked **AND **suggested,

"What made you become a manager?

Oh, how about instead of answering a question straight out, you answer it in like, a story or flashback?"

"I explained the first question in the previous question (yes it's that simple.). And your second question is considerable…but I've got a lot of other thing I need to do and I'm trying to fit as many questions as I can in one chapter. A flashback would take a little too much time, but good idea.

* * *

Well…I think that will do it. If you ask more questions (and you can ask more then one question) maybe there will be another chapter up today!

He who answers the questions,

Jackson


	3. The Asking Begins part2

"I have returned! And maybe I'll leave until this chick goes away…but I have to answer!

* * *

Okay, The Fluffy Queen asks,

"Yo Jackie! So…would you let me meet your long lost twin brother who you've never met before named Bob? Cause I'd like that. Okay…that was just a stupid question. Anyway, here's another one! Did you enjoy falling down the stairs? I don't know what is so great cause my brother went the stairs on a chair too. Did you get any…bone injuries? And the last one is…do you like cheese? Muhahahahahaha answer me cause I am BayBreeze's wifey. YOU MUST ANSWER ALL OF THEM!"

"Umm…my name is Jackson. Not Jackie, Jack, or Jay. Umm…mummsy didn't have another son, and even if she did…I don't think I would let a mentally unstable Fluffy Queen meet…erm…Bob. No I didn't…but Lisa drove her high heel shoe into my thigh and head butted me, causing me to fall down the stairs and she did it with love. And I wouldn't go down stairs in a chair. Bone injuries from what! And what kind of question is that? Cheese! That's below me!"

* * *

"Okay…Moogle is back and she asks,"

"Have any of you hostages/workers ever called you "Wako Jacko"? You know like what they call Michael Jackson? This is fun!"

"Erm…no…unless they talk about me behind my back. I don't molest my victims/ workers. And how dare you even compare me to MJ! His face and sense of fashion is horrible!"

* * *

"Okay…the last question is from Literally,"

"Hm…

How about...

If you're such a lousy shot, why don't you practice?

Or…

When you were little, did you do ballet?"

"I never thought about practicing because I've got "dogs" that can use guns…they do the dirty work and I watch from afar. Ballet? What makes you think I would do ballet? Please…ballet is below me…like cheese."

* * *

"Wow…umm…thanks for the greatly amusing questions…maybe there will be more in the next chapter;. Remember…if you want a new chapter, send me questions." 


	4. part3

"Yup…time for a new chapter! Ha! Four in one day…I've got a lot of fans. Oh and before I forget…I'd like to apologize to Moogle for assuming that you where a chick."

"Okay, first letter is from Nina Moore. Nina asks,

"Hey Jackson, what were you thinking while you were in the bathroom alone with Lisa?

What were you thinking when Lisa told you about her rape?

What were you thinking when you had Lisa pinned to the wall in her father's house?

Besides that, I think you are doing a great job. And it takes a lot for me to review a story, or talk show like this."

"Naughty thoughts that a Jackson like me shouldn't be thinking about, the thousands of ways I was taught how to torture some one, and the same thing I was thinking in the bathroom!"

"The next letter is from Moogle. Moogle asks,"

"I couldn't review again because my computer kept freezing up so I had to send it

to you this way. Well, anyway...

You said the word 'mummsy', are you British, or are you just rebuking the

American word 'mommy'.

and

Why did you assume that the anonymous person and I, Moogle, were both

female?"

"No…I'm American…mummsy just seemed to like mummsy more then mommy or mom. And once again, I sincerely apologize for that mistake."

"This letter is from…wow…isn't this awkward. This is from ilovejackson0591. She asks,"

"1: What's your favorite band?

2: Did you really die?

3: Did you have a thing for Lisa?

4: Did you have little fantasies about the bathroom thing (because we all know you

did!)"

"I like Beethoven and Mozart. Wow…am I dead? Yes…people who have hit Rigamortis can host there own talk shows and type back to your letters…some question. Yes…and yes."

"Uh-oh…she's back…Fluffy asks,"

"Here's another question. Remember that time with Shelby and the 'virgin ears'

thing? (inside joke) Well I'm havin a kid too. You gonna babysit for me? Or are

you too busy with... 'other things?' "

"What happened on that day and the words that where exchanged between BayBreeze and I aren't any of the viewers concerns! And no I will not babysit! I have a talk show to host! You're the reason my sanity is packing it's bag and getting ready to leave me!"

"Okay…the last question is from Amanda. She asks,"

"Jackson,

Ok I was reading your idea of a perfect woman and it pretty much describes Lisa,

just wondering about if she wasn't apart of a job what would happen?

and

How come you don't like cheese?"

"You are absolutely right. Maybe we could have dated, got married, settled down and maybe had children, and then grew old together. We would then die happily in our sleep surrounded by our children and many grandchildren. I've got the whole thing planned out. I don't like cheese becauseit taste funny…"

Okay…this time the questions where mostly Lisa based. Maybe she should start her own talk show!


	5. part4

"I have returned! And you guys are still up when I go to bed! You're crazy, just like this next question which is from…Fluffy."

"Fluffy asks,"

"See? Amanda likes cheese too! In your face Jackson! Yes I'm back. glompage no jutsu and a whiny voice Ne ne Jacko...how come you dun want to watch my baby? Cause I heard you really LOVE the kids. I love kids too... I love to eat them. Not like I'm going to eat MY kids... just yours. Na na na na na! Well then... I know where you sleep."

"I dun wanna watch your baby cause if she's anything like mommy-kins, I might kill myself. And I'm not suicidal! And that 'Wako Jacko' joke wasn't funny. What difference would it make if you ate your baby or some one else's? And I wish I could say the same for you…maybe I'll kidnap you and take you to go get your head fixed!"

* * *

"Okay…next question is from Kodu. Kodu asks,"

"Hmm...this seems fun.

Jackson, what was going through your mind when Lisa stabbed you in the neck with that pen?

Do your usual jobs involve stalking the subject for up to 8 weeks? (That just seems like a long time to me...)

What would you do if you had the chance to talk to Lisa again?

What's your favorite color and why?"

"Hmm…at that moment I really, really, REALLY wanted to…heehee…kill her. No…not all the time…but I "had to learn her daily schedule…" My boss sucks. I think I would probably steal her like I said I would. My favorite color is green or blue. Why? I don't know why…"

* * *

"This crazy question is from Mohican, who gives me the feeling that I'm being mocked. She asks,"

"What would you do if your son is at home cryin' all alone on the bedroom floor cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money?

And

Which movie would you rather see, 'Keeping the Faith' or 'Brokeback Mountain'?"

* * *

"What the…sleep with a man? Where did the son come from? What the... Do you have an obsession with gay men? I think I'd rather put pins in my eyes…Crazy."

* * *

"Moogle is back…and she states,"

"I'm a girl I just wanted to know why you thought I'm a girl, O well here's your cookie and cupcake of forgiveness hands back said items. Sorry about that."

"GAH! I had to change the last chapter three times cause I thought you where a guy! And I only gave you a cookie!"

* * *

"Heehee… Ilovejackson is back, and I'm absolutely flattered. She says,"

"Hey I'm back...and I still love you...

1: Yankees or Red Sox?

2: You said you were American...where are you from?

3: And excuse me for thinking you were dead. I've seen weirder things happen, believe me.

"Aww…thank you. Umm…I don't have time for baseball…but I guess for the sake of answering that question, Red Sox. I'm from Washington. Well…I couldn't blame you. I was so convincing I almost fooled myself."

* * *

"Queen of Imps asks,"

So, Jackson is it stressful being a manager? I imagine it would be. If it is, I know this great shrink name Dr. Crane who might be willing to help...

"Hmm…very! But I heard that this Crane guy was crazy and that he wears potato sacks on his head. Calls him self "Scare Crow". I don't think I want him to give me therapy sessions…"

* * *

"Breezi asks,"

All righty,

First off, how can you say that ballet is below you? Don't you know that it's good for balance and coordination and after Lisa kicked your butt, you probably could have used a little bit more of that...sorry. That may have been uncalled for...anyways...my real question... There are few people out there who think that you're a sociopath (antisocial personality disorder or whatever the PC term happens to be at the moment) and I was just wondering if you thought of yourself that way or not?

I might have been able to use that skill but I have better things to do spin around in a frilly tutu. Actually I have lots of friends…we go out and party every Tuesday."

* * *

"Nataly asks,"

"Hi Jackson, do you do party favors? Like what I mean is like if I were to go on a plane and I told you the airplane and time and everything you would even have to track me down would you groggle me too? Throw me up against the wall like you did for Lisa-oh and about the babysitting thing do you have any tips for taking care of them when they have fevers? One more question: why kind of cheese have you tried maybe the kind you tried Wasn't very good? Try Munster you should try different kinds then maybe you'll like it more-well got to go, hope to see you very soon maybe on a flight you never know...

"Heehee…the only person I like to throw up against walls is BayBreeze…and maybe Lisa. What does "groggle" mean? I'm taking care of babies retarded. I've tried lots of cheese…and I just don't like it. I don't know if we would ever meet each other…I don't know if I would throw you up against a wall though..."

* * *

"Those where very interesting questions. Sorry once again to Moogle. You just have to make such a "change the chapter 3 times cause I was wrong and then right and then wrong again" point. So maybe I'll just stop assuming...yeah...theres a plan. Keep sending the crazy questions!" 


	6. part5

Finally I have gotten enough questions to start the new chapter…and I was just a tad lazy.

* * *

"This question is from P'tfami, P'tfami asks," 

"Dear Mr Rippner,

What do you read in your spare time? Ever considered opening an Assassins Guild

as described in Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels? It would make er..

"inhuming" targets quite legal.

**"I like to read Stephen King books. My favorite one would have to be Carrie and no I haven't ever considered opening an Assassins Guide. I'm quite good at my job and I don't need a book to tell me what to do. And you can call me Jackson"**

* * *

"This one is from arrgil, arrgil asks," 

"Do you think that figure skating and horse-back riding are girly? They're

actually both really hard, so keep that in mind, and have you ever seen the

Calgary stampede? What's your favorite event?

**"No, true, no, and I think my favorite event is…uh…I don't have a favorite event."**

* * *

"Uh…Fluffy is back and annoying as ever. She asks," 

'I'm taking care of babies retarded' What the fudge does that

mean? Anyway, meanie! My baby would be just like daddy... sometimes well

behaved, but evil and would kill his parents one day but not the babysitter. Oh

pwease? I won't make fun of you EBER AGAIN if you do this for

me... but if you don't... I STILL know where you sleep. And I spy on you when

you're eating breakfast so... watch out for poison... MUHAHAHAHAHA! (cough) Oh

and tell BayBreeze I just finished the 2nd volume of DH and I wanna know what

happens to Zach... I mean, it's not his fault! I know Mrs. Hoover is evil but

Paul didn't have to get so wacko that he sent his own son to a Juvenile

Rehabilitation thingy. Bleh. I don't think I spelled that right. Ah well, gotta

go get the 3rd volume so I can see what happens. Too taa loo Jackie-boy. (chu)

--Fluffy"

**"You're just crazy! CRAZY! AND NEVER EVER 'chu' ME! I don't need kisses from Japan! AND IT'S JACK, I MEAN JACKSON! And how do you poison my toast if I'm watching it the whole three minutes it's cooking?"**

* * *

"These questions are from Akazato, who asks," 

"Some more questions Jackson, because I want to keep you busy...

Q1: Do you like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream?

Q2: When you think about Lisa, do you cry and devour a whole pint?

Q3: Do you cry at all? Or is crying below you too?

Q4: Have you ever got pepper-sprayed? Cuz I bet you cried then

And last but not least Q5: What's your favorite way to kill a person?"

**"Mmm…yes. I don't believe in the "filling the void in my pathetic life with food" thing, but yes…I like to eat the whole pint. Yes I do. Yes…and yes. My favorite way to kill a person is…well it all depends. If they really ticked me off I like to kill the slowly and painfully…with a toothpick or a paper clip or something like that."**

* * *

"This question is from brunette-barbie14. I thought Barbie was blonde…anyways. She asks," 

"Hey Jackson,

Since everyone thinks that you are a perfect match for Lisa would you ever go

with someone else? Like a Latin chica? (Not that I'm Mexican...you know or...I'm

implying...I'm...yeah)hehe I have to ask!

If you had to pick a movie...

Pirates of the Caribbean or King Arthur?"

**"Nooope! Lisa and only Lisa. And King Arthur sucked! POTC defiantly!"**

* * *

"Heehee…Moogle is back and she asks," 

"Umm, I think Mohican's is lyrics from a song, yeah.

Who would you rather be, a platypus or a Michael Jackson?

What's your sign?"

**"A platypus because it has a duck bill and fur and it lays eggs and it's still a mammal. I like platypus'. My sign? Oh I'm an Aries."**

* * *

"Nataly asks," 

"HI Jackson!

Um well I think I spelled groggle wrong-groggel sorry it means to choke. You

don't like babies? Aw that's okay we know that your manly instincts are just

taking over. Its okay if you wouldn't want to throw me up against the wall I

understand. You only have a thing in it for Seabreeze and Lisa

That's not the only reason, I am here not to just threaten you but I think you

should take Queen of Imps suggestion go visit our dear doctor. He is a good

doctor so patient. Why don't you? Have you ever met him before? Plus do you find

yourself very attractive cause I know a lot of girls that do...well got to go!"

**"Um…why would I choke you? You didn't do anything. It's not that I don't like her baby…she's just crazy. And um…heehee it's BayBreeze. A good doctor that wears potato sacks on his head…he's C-R-A-Z-Y. And yeah…I know I'm hot."**

* * *

"SmarterThanYou, who is not smarter than me asks," 

"Your going to think I'm crazy for asking these things. Forgive me though. Its

three in the morning.

1. What would you do if you 'stole' Lisa?

2. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?

3. Are you annoyed with all the stupid questions?"

**"Hmm…if I stole Lisa I think I'd convince her that I'm not as evil as she thinks I am and then whatever I said about dying in our sleep surrounded my our children and many grandchildren in a previous chapter. Um…it happened at a Christmas party…I was drunk and I don't want to talk about it… No I'm not. I find them quite amusing."**

* * *

"This one is from AishiteruX3. She asks," 

"Yeah this is Amanda again, but what I want to know is,

How the hell do you find a job like that? I mean you can't just open up the

wanted ad's or something like that.

and

hehe I love you too, but then again who doesn't?

Besides most people you've threatened.

**"Well…hey didn't you read the first chapter? Yeah…I love youall too except for Fluffy…but not the way I love Lisa…that's a different kinda love."**

* * *

"J-bird asks," 

"Hey Jackson. How's the throat? Do you still have the scarf? Do you still wear

it?

BTW, you'd think in your line of profession, you'd have a nicer cell phone!

C'mon now!"

**"Aw…you care! It's fine…yes and yes. And my cell phone is very nice! And I had to buy that phone all by my little self! Lisa probably broke it…when she STOLE IT!"**

* * *

Okay…Thank you for all the questions. You guys make me so happy…I LOVE YOU ALL! 


	7. part6

Hi…I'm back…sorry for the delay. I had…work. And there are…quiet a lot of questions that need to be answered. So…with that said the first question is from Kodu.

Q: Green or blue, hm? I ask 'why' because colors have many different meanings. For

example, green is associated with healing, tranquility, and sometimes

inexperience. Also, different shades mean different things. Dark green is greed,

jealousy, ambition; whereas a lighter green stands more for peace.

Blue, on the other hand, symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence,

intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven. Light blue is health, understanding,

softness. Dark blue is knowledge, power, seriousness, and integrity.

I would consider your personality of a Dark Blue nature.

(I got these color meanings from Color Wheel Pro, btw)

Okay, on to the questions...

If you could play any instrument, what would it be?

What do you like better: Guitar, piano, or cello?

If Lisa's life was in danger, and the only way to save her would be to turn

yourself in to the authorities, would you?

Thanks Jackson,

Kodu

A: Hm…I personally think colors are colors. Actually I do play an instrument, the violin. I prefer both the guitar and piano. Hmm… turn myself in to save Lisa…stay out of jail…save Lisa…don't save Lisa…save…don't save…hmmm…sure.

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The next question is from…man you have a weird name…P'tfami

Q: If its all the same, how about J.R? your name happens to be quite a

mouthful...btw, I prefer "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption". Good

book, good film.

So J.R,

This honest streak you possess must be quite stressful at times for an

assassin manager like yourself.

How do you manage to separate the white lies from the big whoppers in your

career? Ever been tempted to commit the latter? Would you ever go for Confession

if you did?

A: Ah…do what you want…can really do anything about it over the internet anyways. How do you guys know I'm lying or not about being honest…and it is quite stressful and it gets me into trouble. I don't know if I would go to Confession if I did.

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Ah…it's loyal reader Moogle from Cyrodiil again.

Q: What does it take to make you pissed( other than fluffy and that thing about

your brother bob)?

and, What's 'mummsy' like?

A: Well actually…BayBreeze told me that if I wanted to continue walking…I had to be nice to Fluffy… Hmm…Mummsy…Mummsy made really good pizza…and she always color coordinated my closet and dresser…and she was really bad and dishing out punishments…I miss Mummsy…

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Barbie was blonde…but she did have a brunette friend…brunette-barbie14 asks.

Q: JACKSON! You don't like brunettes? lol It's okay I still love you...and of

course POTC is amazing!

Did you go see the second movie?

Do you even go to the movies?

Do you go by yourself?

Do you think blind people could go to the movies?

Cause they can still hear! They just can't...see.

A:Nonononononono…I didn't say that…I was just wondering cause I swore that Barbie was blonde…I've got brown hair too anyways. Yes. Yes. Yes. Then what's the point if you can't see the cool Kraken thing?

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You've got some weird questions Akazato.

Q: Ello Jackson. I always thought you had a thing for groggling people but it's not

true then? I'm disappointed. Anyway,

1. What's your favorite kind of music?

2. Are you a fan of AFI?

3. Would you ever wear black eyeliner?

4. Would you ever wear pink?

5. Would you ever wear girl jeans?

6. Why do you dislike variations of your name so much? I think Rippie is really

cute :)

A: I probably listen to everything but Rap…cause I can't understand anything they sing about. They're okay…I like Prelude 12/21 and The Last Kiss. Yes. Once…and it didn't look good on me…and it never will. No…they just happened to be really tight and uncomfortable guy jeans. Cause Jackson was the name that Mummsy gave me. If she wanted my name to be Jack, Jackie, J.R, Jay, Jackie-poo, or Rippie…then that's what my birth certificate would have said…and I don't need a pet name…but I'll tell you what I told that other girl. There isn't much I can do about it over the internet…

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SmarterThanYou…no I'm pretty sure I'm smarterer than you…

Q: Your going to be seeing me often hehe

1. Speakin of the pen, how's the leg? It must have hurt like hell to have a heel

crammed in your leg.

2. What made you take the job and

3. What were your thoughts on seeing Lisa for the first time and up close?

A: I am? How's that? Yeah…my leg is fine…now. See…but I'm over it now…just a shoe…just my leg…I have two of them. Hmm…curiosity and it pays well. Lisa this Lisa that…LisaLisaLisaLisaLISA! Hmm…well…following her around for eight weeks made me realize something…she's got a pretty boring life…but…hmm…NEXT QUESTION!

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J-Bird wants to know.

Q: I do care about your well-being, yes. May I have a cookie for caring?

onto my questions...

Do you know Lisa's whereabouts? Have you tried contacting her since the

"incident"? Can you touch the tip of your nose (or your elbow) with your tongue?

A: Uh…I guess…here…have a…cookie? Yes. No. Yes actually I can lick my elbow and stick my tongue up my nose…

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Nataly asks.

Q: Dear Jackson,

I don't think Lisa broke your phone she's probably using it right now...

Anyhow...after you got your throat fixed and everything else did you ever think

about going to the hospital but for fixing your head?

Dr. Crane can help you with that ;)

When you said in the previous chapter: "Maybe we could have dated, got married,

settled down and maybe had children, and then grew old together. We would then

die happily in our sleep surrounded by our children and many grandchildren"

Did you mean that you would keep Lisa as your little toy then help Lisa die

happily in her sleep or what? Because I'm sure you wouldn't be the one to

die...and by the way I do find you attractive. You are a chick magnet! ;)got to go talk to you later.

A:0.o you are very strange. Hope she isn't making any long distant phone calls. MY HEAD DOESN'T NEED FIXING! Le sigh…no. No. And we "grew old together and died HAPPILY in our sleep." Why thank you…I know I'm hot…I hear it a lot but I didn't think I had so many fans.

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Your questions aren't really…that normal either Wolf Jade.

Q: Wow blinks Some really strange questions...Anyway, my turn malicious smile

1. Aren't you a manager not an assassin? Or are you both?

2. Could you kill my sister? She called you a fluffball or was it a kitten and

yes she's like 19.

3. What's your drink of choice?

4. Do you ever wear casual clothes? Suits must be really annoying if you wear

them day after day.

5. Did you really kill your parents? I could totally understand that.

Have a great life!

A: Oh no…I'm a manager…but I've also killed people…but I don't think I was paid for that. No…I don't wanna kill your sister. Heehee…Vodka. I have casual clothes…but when I go to work…I like to…dress for success. No…I was just kidding…you guys take everything to seriously… Um…thanks…I'll try.

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JackSparrowIsLove asks.

Q: Hey Jackson!

What's up? So...have you ever seen the movie "From Hell" with that sexy beast

Johnny Depp in it? If you haven't you should watch it. It's about Jack the

Ripper, and guess who plays Jack the Ripper. The guy that played Bilbo in Lord

of the Rings. Ha-ha.

Another question...Est-ce que tu aimes faire nager? Moi? Oui. J'adore nager et

dormir. Et toi?

Check out my amazing French skills

A:Nope. Um…I'm I supposed to agree with you on the sexy beast comment? WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT! Cool…if only I could read it…

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Hello again arrgil. Let's see what you have to say today.

Q: yeah, I know I'm annoying, but:

What's your favorite band?

Movie?

Food?

Do you have a pet?

How's your mom? (Depending in circumstances of course)

I think I might understand you! Your job must be frustrating, so we can't

really blame you for snapping under the pressure when some chick messes up a job

that's going smoothly.

Sorry for annoying you! Best of luck doing what you do! bye

A:Hmm…I like Matchbox Twenty, Panic Channel, Oasis, Muse, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Theory of a Deadman, Savage Garden, and there are more…I'm just to lazy to type it all. I like the Matrix movies. I like bagels with butter and strawberry jelly. Yes…I've got a cat. His name is Lestat. He's sitting in my lap watching me type. He says hi. Mummsy is in the hospital…she has cancer. I'm over it I swear! You aren't annoying! I like answering your questions.

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AishiteruX3 asks.

Yes well I meant more in detail as in did they just come up to you randomly or

did you do something to catch their eye?

A:I was a very scary kid in high school and I slashed this kid up pretty good after school with a scalpel I stole from the science room. They asked me if I wanted a job. They would give me $1,600 if I killed this guy. I did and it went on from there.

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It's Fluffy again...save me some one please...

Q: -ebil glare of doom- I hate you too, Wacko Jacko, the evil assassin WHO EATS

BABIES! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! -smifle- WA I'm getting all moody

again... comes with the territory I guess. Well here's my question, and yes I

actually have a question this time. -ahem- Do you, or will you ever, have pets?

And if you do, and it's not a cat, I shall kill you with a spork. -sticks tongue

out- Meanie face. I hope you get divorced then die from all your spelling

errors. Good bye.

A: 0.o Riiiiight.

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Waffu…heehee that's a funny name…Waffu. Well anyways…Waffu asks.

Q: Wow this is awesome!

Okay my questions, ahem.

1. Were you a loser when you were a kid?

2. If you could go back in time, would you change a thing? What would it be?

3. Have it ever crossed your mind that you hope you're the one who raped Lisa at

the parking lot instead of an ugly pervert?

A: No…I was that guy no one liked cause he was weird. I think I'd try to prevent Lisa's rape. 0.o No…rape is below me.

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Ilovepetewentz1 asks.

Q: Dear Jackson,

Do you have any serious feelings for Lisa?

If so, how do you really feel about her?

From

ilovepetewentz1

A: Yes…I love her.

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Kitcatlady asks.

Q: if an asthmatic African swallow leaves London at 3pm traveling west at 9.5

meters per second, and an invincible 3 legged platypus boards a train leaving

Thailand at 6pm, which one will achieve self-actualization and enlightenment

first?

A:If you left for the mental institution at 7:00 a.m. how long do you think it would take them to fix your head?

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Ginger zip asks.

Q: 1)Is Jack Rippner your real name, and if not, why choose it?

2)Did you fall for anyone on the Red eye flight (the stewardesses, that slutty

woman, LISA?)

3)Why do you look so much like the Scarecrow in Batman Begins?

A: No…my real name is Jack-_son_ Rippner. Oh I so totally had the hots for the slutty blonde lady…ha-ha no I kidding. Your question is answered in one of the previous questions. We look so much alike because we're brothers.

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GhostMonkey asks.

Q: Where you in the marching band during your high school years?

Do you watch NCIS?

What would you do if you were stuck on a roller coaster ALONE with Lisa?

Do you like Anime or manga?

Heehee keep the good work!

A: No…I didn't do marching band but I did bring my violin to school and play during lunch for my high school girlfriend. Mehehehheh… Hmm…Anime…cause you don't have to read it. Oh yeah and no I don't watch NCIS.

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Ix3jeff uhhhh states.

Q: this is very original. Heehee.

A: Um…thanks? I think…

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And with that final question that brings this chapter to a close…finally. The next chapter with sadly be the last so be sure to ask any questions you have left. And there are no line thingys casue fanfiction is being stupid and it won't show them...


	8. part7

Ha-ha! I decided to continue Ask Me Anything. Sorry for the LONG delay, I had more work. So, with that said, onto the questions.

* * *

Some one help me please. Fluffy is back,

Q: ... you didn't answer my question. Oh where are my manners? YOU'RE BACK! glomp

Heh. I don't know why I just did that. I had a b-day party at CEC's today. It was cool... this dude had sharpened teeth like the headless horseman in Sleepy Hollow. It was creepy... anyway, yesh. As before, answer my previous question and: What is your favorite book? ALSO: What movie would you watch over and over again?

A: If you would have read the previous chapter, you would know that I do have a pet. His name is Lestat, so I guess you can't kill me with a spork because he happens to be a cat. My favorite book? I happen to like Carrie and Salem's Lot, by Stephen King. As for my favorite movie, I like to watch Matchstick Men.

Hello InvadingAngel, let's see what you have to say,

Q:

Jackson, I just want to start by saying I'm a huge fan of your work. That assassination off the coast of Cuba in '99 was beautiful! And here are my questions:

1) Do you like Zombie movies?

2) Have you ever seen 28 days later? And what did you think?

3) Are you at all creeped out by some of the fanfictions that people write about you?

Once again I must say I love you! (But not in a creepy fallow you for eight weeks sort of way)

A: Um, thanks? (When was I in Cuba in '99?) Sure, zombie movies are okay, but not my favorite. I have not seen 28 Days Later, but I bet it's a zombie movie, isn't it? No, I'm not really bothered by the fanfictions people write about me. What really bothers me is cleaning Lestat's litter box. That's gross. Um, I guess that's fine, for you to love me. Other people do.

More from InvadingAngel,

Q: (I didn't realize the next chapter would be the last. Now I have to cram in more questions!)

1) Are those contacts?

2) Have you ever shaved your head? Don't you think you would look rugged with a shaved head?

3) Was Lisa the first one to defeat you?

4) Since you lived, (clearly) were you arrested? Did you escape?

5) Are you still working as a manager now?

6) Are you in hiding only communicating to the outside world with these questions?

7) Do you want a sandwich?

A: No, these are the eyes I was born with. I've never shaved my head. Quite frankly, I enjoy my hair. Yes she was the first to defeat me. I was not arrested, and quite obviously I escaped. Yes, in a sense. No, why do I need to hide? I'm so sly; the cops won't even find me. I'm always one step ahead on them. Sure, sandwiches are great.

Why is the jell-o attacking, Attackofthejello?

Q: Hi Jackson...Rippie heheheh um yeah my questions...

1. Do you like fruit loops?

2. What would you do if Lisa got married to some guy, had three kids, and then...she DIED?

3. Do you like blondes? (Not that I am blonde...but that's beside the point)

4. Are you Irish?

5. Did you know Lisa's eyes are blue?

6. Would you ever date a girl who looked like Lisa (curly brown hair except with green eyes like everybody says she has), was smarter than her (and u ha-ha), and this girl HADN'T stabbed you with a pen and her heels?

7. If you were stranded on a deserted island which object would you take?

A) A lamp shade

B) A lamppost

C) A pet rock named Fabio (which you happened to steal from me)

8. Have you ever compared yourself to Jack the Ripper...cause you both kill people?

And my sister wants to know:

If you have any stuffed animals and if you do, do you talk to them?

Thanksya Jacko-llama...l8r

A: Making up weird pet names for me is uncalled for. Yes, I like Fruit Loops. Um, I would be sad. No, I don't, at least not after the incident with the blonde on the plane. No, I'm not Irish. No, Lisa's eyes are hazel; she's 5' 5", has auburn colored hair, and she doesn't like sushi. No, I would want to date Lisa. I think I would take the lamp post, just so I could whack you in the head with it. No. No. Bye crazy.

Still more from Attackofthejello,

Q: HAHAHAHA! I'm back JACKO-LLAMA!! LLAMAS RULE!! So do monkeys...never mind.

I forgot some questions and since this is your last chapter I can't put them in later so I'm just putting them under chapter um...7, I think?

Anyway questions...

1. Do you like llamas?

2. What would you do if that creepy blonde lady from the plane started stalking you?

3. Do you like Matchbook Romance and Three Days Grace? They're bands...

4. Have you ever eaten an alligator?

5. You should seriously go see Dr. Crane for therapy. He's a good shrink. And have you ever met my good friend Cillian Murphy? He's a nice guy and can help you get into show biz...

Another thing my sister was wondering:

Have you ever worn a bikini?

Later Jack-o-LANTERN!!

Ohh...that's a good one...

sticks out tongue heheheheh, I know I'm annoying.

A: Not anymore, after you made up that pet name. I think I would skin her alive and feed her flesh to my cat. No, but I'll give them a try. No. I DON'T NEED THERAPY! No. No. Yes you are.

Stop, please, I'm begging you.

AttackoftheJELL-Hey JackSON! Hahaha! I came up with two new awesome nicknames;

CrackerJack and SmackerJack!! Anyways, I've got more questions that I remembered

I needed to ask you before you quit doing the whole fan-mail thing…so I've gotta post them under another chapter…yeah. I know I'm annoying, but whatever, so here are my questions…

1. Have you ever considered being a lumberJACK?

2. Have you ever been attacked or had an encounter with a vicious, rabid

Chihuahua?

3. When stalking Lisa, were you ever a peeping tom?

4. Other than being rejected by Lisa, what's your worst fear and why?

5. What's your favorite weapon?

6. Does 'mummsy' know what you do for a living?

7. What would you do if you were a piece of broccoli?

8. Do you watch Sponge bob?

9. You know how you have an earring hole in your left ear…do you ever wear and earring in it? And have you ever considered getting a purple mohawk?

Thanks soo much my CrackerJack! Muah! Lol, just kidding, but the Wacko Jacko thing is seriously funny…same with Jacky Wacky…or Wacky Jacky!! YAY!! Bye!

A: NOT FUNNY! No. shifty eyes NEXT QUESTION! Hm, my worst fear and why… probably answering your questions because they're weird. My knife. No, and I hope she never does. It would break her heart. Eat myself so you can't ask me any more questions. Maybe. Not since high school. No. No it isn't.

Hello ninavs lets see what you have to say,

Q: So...Jackson,

Do you really think you and Leese could have a future together...like a family with 4 kids and a dog?!?!?!

If "yes"...Even with your job?!?!?!?!

If she asked you to quit and start in a new (and legal) job...what would you do?

Ps: I love you! )

A: Sure, if she'll have me. Sure. I might consider quitting. Thanks, lots of people do.

Sparrowed wants to know,

Q: What up, yo. I have the questions; you have the answers, right?

1. Have you used any weapons besides a gun and a knife? Supposedly a sword, mace, frozen pizza...

2. Do YOU think Lisa has the same feelings towards you?

3. What movie series/trilogy is better? Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Kill Bill, Harry Potter, The Godfather or Star Wars?

4. Is Lisa different from other girls you've encountered? Or stalked...and is that why you love her?

5. What did you want to be when you were a young boy? As in, a pirate, a soldier, a fireman LOL...

6. Even though you're a grown man, do you watch The Simpsons?

Answer these questions or I'll suffer my squirrelly wrath!

A: Yes I have, and once I did use frozen pizza. My dad got home and long story short, I grabbed the pizza we were going to have for dinner and knocked him upside the head with it. It was kinda funny. I would really hope so, but if not, I would understand. LORD OF THE RINGS! Perhaps. We may never know. Actually, I wanted to be a figure skater, and I was for a little bit. Mummsy was so proud. Heck yes!

YAY! Someone who isn't nuts! It's SmaterThanYou,

Q: LAST QUESTIONS

1. Do you ever read fanfiction about yourself and Lisa as a couple?

2. You looked pretty pissed when that blonde woman wouldn't leave you alone. On a scale of 1-10, how mad were you?

3. If you could redo the whole bathroom scene in any way you want to, how would you do it?

4. Are you ever going to go back and find Lisa? If you do, post what happened :)

5. Would you go out to your nearest mall in a bat costume screaming "E!! E!!" while scaring people just to make Lisa laugh?

That last one, my cousin wanted me to ask. Anyways, I think you should do some more Q & A! Anyways, bye!

A: Yes I do. It makes me so happy that you guys care. Only on a scale of 1-10? 100,000. That information is confidential. If I told you, I would have to gut you like a fish. I'll be sure to do that. Scaring people and making Lisa laugh?! Of course!

Devious Mistress would like to ask one question,

Q: One question as to my curiosity:

Have you ever found yourself in a situation with Lisa were you could finish the job because of un-noticeable feelings or attractions to the person, if you had to kill the person, would you?

A: I don't know, perhaps, but I would have to encounter the situation.

These questions are from waffu,

Q: Hey again Jackson! I have soo many questions to ask you and it makes me sad that you are refusing to get any more fanmails lol! Okay QUESTIONS!

1. Who is Mummsy?

2. Have you seen the movie Red Eye? What was your reaction?

3. Why'd you lost your touch on Lisa? I mean, honestly man... you are lacking of skills! Why chose a freaking knife instead of a gun? And when you caught Lisa with a field hockey stick why didn't you head butt her so she could fell asleep?

But I still love you though :D

4. Do you think Cillian Murphy is a good actor? Do you like him?

5. If I pay you, would you assassinate the person I wanted to be assassinated?

6. What's your religion or beliefs? Do you believe in God or were you an atheist?

7. Do you have a high school girlfriend? Who is she? How many girlfriends you've had anyway?

8. Is Rachel McAdams hot or not?

9. Do you hate me because I said you are lacking of skills?

10. Do you love the movie Breakfast On Pluto so much it makes you wanna jump and cry?

That's all...well bye then! I will surely going to miss you! Update us with your life! Lmfao!

A: Um, Mummsy is my mom. I bore an uncanny resemblance to what happened on the plane. I can't shot for cheese. Um, she might have smacked me in the face really hard if I got that close. He's okay. Yeah, that's what I do. Atheist. I had one. Her name was Joy. I've only had 3. She's fine, I guess. No. No. Will do, waffu.

Hello once again Ginger Zip,

Q: Another few questions, mainly about that brother.

1) You think that he's a loony, right? What does he think of you? What do you think of YOURSELF?

2) Without lying, did any of that stuff in 'A Twisted Kind of Brotherhood' really happen? Be honest, even the brotherly love stuff...

A: Of course I think he's nuts, I'm his older brother by 24 minutes. He thinks I'm crazy too. Everyone does. I think that I may need a little, just a little, medical attention. I haven't read that fanfiction, but I have a lot of brotherly love for Jonny.

NoSleepTonight asks,

Q: Hey Jackson! So I read that you don't like cheese, do you at least like it on crackers? What is your real name? And if Jackson IS your real name why would you tell that to Lisa? Huh! Huh?! Is your real name Bob? Maybe. How about Frank!? Do you have a dolly? Cause if you do...HAHA. Oh did you know IMA NINJA!? And, how is it that you got on the plane before Lisa when you walked the opposite direction of the plane while talking on the phone? Are you a ninja too?

A: Only on Ritz and it has to be cheddar cheese wiz. Jackson Jonathan Rippner. I don't lie, so why lie about my real name? No. That's cool, I guess. I walk fast. No.

Nataly asks,

Q: Hey there Jackson!,

Will we be hearing anything of Dr. Crane soon? I hope so. I would really like to talk to him; can you possibly get him his own talk show? And why do you think I'm weird? That's just plain mean!, you know that? Please be nicer ;) please please please!

Okay moving on to the questions

1. So say-Lisa had a baby (the father unknown) and for some reason or another she wanted you to take care of the baby would you? (Of course I KNOW she wouldn't trust the poor little baby with a killer). Would you do it for her sake since you love her THAT much? I know you aren't too good with kids-but guess what?!? I am a kid-still! Lol

2. Do you notice you also look like Jim-from the movie 28 days later-gosh are you all brothers or something?

3. Did you know you eyes are scary?-their like this transparent blue or whatever. SCARY (though most of my questions are scary as well...)

4. Do you ever plan on having kids with Lisa-since you said you wanted some in the last paragraph or so, because no offense or anything Jackson but your not too good with kids, or little children--perhaps you need to take a class about "being a father" or something like that.

5. I just figured out why you don't like being called "Jack" interesting...so you must be a peeping Tom eh? For all the women…before you kill them...

Anyhow...

6. Um you know when you said RAPE is like way below you? Fyi when ya'll were in the bathroom--yeah that was like a forced scene. Get over it-rape is so not below you (lol)

Well that's all my questions...But Jackson I am going to miss you so much! Like seriously. I love picking on you! But I'm going to miss you! hugs Jackson can I hug you? love you a lots Jack! –nat-

A: If you want me to be nice to you then you have to be nice to me and you aren't being VERY NICE! Yes I would. I haven't seen that movie. Most people think my eyes are nice. There you go again with the meanness. Right, okay, whatever you say. AGAIN WITH THE MEAN!

These questions are from JohnnynotSid,

Q: 1. Vampire Chronicles or Mayfair Witches?

2. Do you play the Sims and if you do, tell us about some of them?

3. Have you ever looked in the mirror and kissed your reflection?

4. Fall Out Boy or My Chemical Romance?

5. What do you think of Frank Zappa and him naming his kids Ahmett, Diva, Dweazil, and Moon Unit?

6. Favorite David Bowie role/alter ego?

7. Who is your favorite actor?

8. Do you watch House and if you do, what is your favorite episode and character?

9. If we put your iPod on shuffle, what would be the most embarrassing song that popped up?

10. Courtney Love or Patti Smith?

A: Vampire Chronicles. I don't play the Sims. Yes. My Chemical Romance. I think he's nuts to name his kids that. Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth. Christian Bale. I don't watch House. How Much is That Doggy in the Window by Doris Day. Who?

These last questions are from Sybl Angelkat,

Q: rolls in the floor laughing God, this made my day. It was pretty funny. gets up and hugs author and Jackson.

I just found this story or I would have been asking more questions.

looks at Jackson, smiling evilly.

Okay, here are my questions:

Jackson:

1. Do you ever read all of these fanfictions about you and Lisa? What is your opinion on them?

2. Would you come after me if I wrote one? locks the door to her dorm room nervously

3. What do you think of all of the psychological disorders that people are diagnosing you with? What happened to all of them?

4. Are your eyes naturally that color? If so, wow...

5. What should I do if someone tries to throw me down the stairs? I don't own any sharp high heels or hockey sticks...

kisses Jackson on the mouth and runs out of the room squealing like an idiot

A: Some and I like most of them. Yes, come after you and give you a thank you card. I think that people shouldn't diagnose me with any disorders unless they're my therapist. Yes, they are. girly lash batting Just let them do it and then find a gun under a dresser and shoot whoever threw you. spit spit cough hack. Gee…thanks.

* * *

Well folks, there you have it. I finally updated. Now send me more questions, so I can answer them. God, I'm going to bed.

XOXO,

Jackson


End file.
